And then, years later most likely, I found out that not only did they have lives outside of mine, they had their summers off too! Are you kidding me? My parents left for work before I went to school, and were back around 6pm. My teachers obviously didn’t start work until I showed up around 8:30am, and then were (again, obviously) done by 3pm, AND they got their summers off!? What a cushy job!

It was right there and then, as a struggling eleven-year-old aspiring young comedian, that I decided teaching was for me.

Ten yeas later, I had a much wider picture of what an elementary teacher does (thank you Brent), and I wanted no part of it. Luckily for me, I did choose a vocation with summer breaks…sort of. Just about education-based job revolves around the academic schedule. While there are certainly different types (semesters, quarters, year-round), each one has its own seasons, its own rhythms, and its own perks.

I consider myself lucky to have been working in the semester system that past two years.

As a kid, more than anything else, I wanted to play in the NBA. Seriously. I used to play 6+ hours a day in the summer, working on techniques and fundamentals, doing boring shooting drills, just to eventually reach my goal of playing professional basketball. When I was in high school, and I had my sights focused on future goals, I’d apply myself fully hoping to know as much as I could about a subject or a class along the way. When I was a single man, I would throw myself into dating relationships (sometimes even unhealthily), hoping to become the best boyfriend ever. And even with hobbies, when I’m focused on something, I tend to have very addictive, even obsessive tendencies about them.

Two years ago, when I started homebrewing, the only thing I knew about beer was that it was tasty…sometimes. But within months I had read several books, watched hundreds of how-to videos, and read many, many, many articles on the topic. It wasn’t long until I was able to make some pretty decent beer. And sure, there were some terrible brews along the way, but the more I learned about the science behind fermentation and the many different techniques of brewing, the better I got.

And the same has gone for just about everything in my life. The more focused I was in school, the better I did. The harder I tried at being the best boyfriend, the better boyfriend I was. And this isn’t to say that this is an abnormal propensity at all. Obviously, the more you work at something and the more you try, the better you get. But like I said above, when I’m passionate about something, there is this insatiable need to know the most about or be the best at whatever it is that I’m focused on.

Music, relationships, video games, beer, career goals, and many other facets of my life have all improved in over the years, due to this unquenchably obsessive desire to constantly better myself.  But to be fair, there have been just as many (or more) things I have consistently failed in over the years, which combined with my insatiable fixation has at times thrown me into a slight depression here or there. The lack of ability to be good at everything can be frustrating to someone who feels a compulsive need to be good at everything—it was honestly really tough for a few years when I realized that I would not be starting for the Golden State Warriors coming straight out of high school. (Yes, I know I’m not good at a lot of things, but this isn’t easy for my ego to admit.)

As the best man in my wedding, my brother gave a great speech during our reception. I honestly don’t remember a lot of it, but I do remember the main part (I hope). He talked about me being kind of a geeky guy, and that when I’m geeky about a something, I put everything I have into that. All of my work, all of my focus, all of my passion goes into whatever that subject might be. I was geeky about comic books, I was geeky about music, I was geeky about student affairs, and I was geeky about homebrewing. Then he said it was time for me to be geeky about my wife, Hannah. The crowd “Awwww”-ed and ate it up, and I shed a tear or two, gave the big galoot a hug and moved on. But I’ve thought about that speech in regards to my obsessive nature many times over the last seven months since then.

While it’s a great thing that I was so passionate about those things, there was also a very abrupt end to most of them, which then transitioned directly into the next fanatical investment. This is partly why I had seven majors in college, and why (before my wife) I never dated a girl for more then eighteen months without breaking up with her…at least once.

It’s probably also why I had such a hard time choosing a graduate school or selecting a career path. I know what I’m passionate about right now and I love it and I dive headfirst into it, but it’s tough to plan for the future when I have no idea what I’ll be passionate about in a few years, or even a few months from the present. ¹

But because there is always an end to each of these fleeting passions, and usually an abrupt one, it can be tough when I try to find true fulfillment and satisfaction in these things. I put my all into these things, often finding my worth in my proficiency with these subjects, and there isn’t much room for much else when I’m full board into one of these passions. And that’s where it can get unhealthy. Whenever I’m shirking responsibilities or relationships for the sake of these fanatical dependencies, it’s a bad place to find myself.

So where’s that leave us?

For me, it means I need to find consistency and balance. I’ve luckily been able to find a lot of that in my relationship with my wife, who keeps me sane and accountable to keeping these vices at bay and/or in healthy balance. For me, the insatiable focus and hunger about a topic can be a great thing, but it just needs to be kept in line.

So while I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’ll never play in the NBA, and I’ve made my peace with not being a brew master at a local craft brewery, I am quite enjoying the high level of geekiness I have about the things that are of most importance to me.

And if you ask my wife, I think she’ll tell you the same.

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¹ Obviously, there are certain aspects of my life that I know no matter how I’m feeling, I will choose to be passionate about (i.e. my faith in the Lord, my relationship with my wife, my relationships with family and friends, my job, et al.).

My brother made a delicious Founders KBS clone (from Zymurgy via Homebrewtalk) a few months ago, so I decided to take that recipe, and adjust it a bit in hopes of making it a true bourbon barrel stout. Unfortunately, the only barrel I own is a whiskey barrel (small, 5 gallon), so the “bourbon barrel” is actually two parts: 1) I will be putting bourbon-soaked oak chips into the beer late in secondary, and 2) I’m aging it in a (whiskey) barrel. So even though it’s not a bourbon barrel, it’s still all the elements of a bourbon barrel stout, just in an unconventional fashion.

One of the big concerns with the BIAB technique I’ve been using is that you can only use so much grain, because you’re mashing/boiling all in the same container–plus, you need to lift all of the grains out of the kettle at the same time. While seemingly labor-intensive, it actually wasn’t so bad. Admittingly, I’m only making a 3 gallon batch, so the 10 lbs of grain wasn’t so bad to lift, even when soaked with steaming hot water. However, because I’m using a 5 gallon pot, there wasn’t much room for the grain and 4.25 gallons of strike water.

I also had a few issues (detailed below) with fermentation. My thought it that I may have taken it off the primary yeast cake a bit too early, which stalled around 1.030 for a at least a week. Fortunately, once I re-pitched US-05 (Safale’s dry American ale yeast), it continued to ferment for almost another week. I did a lot of research (“What to do with a stuck fermentation?” and the like…), and went with Mike Tonsmeire’s suggestions of just pitching US-05, which is a very forgiving, clean, hard-working strain. Looks like that was the way to go. I’ll update (below, in the notes section) just how far the gravity got and where it was when I decided to bottle.

What I think happened (which could be completely wrong) was that I pitched two yeasts, and they either got confused/tired, or (what I’ve heard happens) one of them dominated the other, and then just stopped because of lack I under pitched. I kind of doubt this, seeing as I pitched two bottles for only 3 gallons of beer, but I supposed anything is possible, especially with such a big, complex beer. The more I research yeasts, the more I realize that they’re more than just another ingredient and just how finicky a living organism can be–occasionally yeasts just peter out. And while both yeasts are Saccharomyces cerevisiae strains, and are probably virtually (if not completely) identical, but for some reason they decided to stop fermenting. While they did get pretty far (from 1.092-1.030), they were supposed to get to significantly lower (1.022).

My wife and I are excited for this beer, not only because of the excessive nerd factor (JP!), but because my brother’s version tasted so amazingly good. I figure his version, plus a few months aging in a whiskey barrel couldn’t be too bad.

Clever Girl – Bourbon Barrel Stout

RECIPE
Batch Size (Gal): 3
Total Grain (Lbs): 10.35
Starting Water (Gal): 4.25
Pre-boil Water (Gal): 3.50
Anticipated OG: 1.093
Anticipated OG: 1.022
Anticipated SRM: >50
Anticipated IBU: 38
Mash Efficiency: 70%
Wort Boil Time: 75 Minutes

GRAIN
76.8% – 7.95 lbs. Pale Ale
8.7% – 0.90 lbs. Oats (flaked)
4.3% – 0.45 lbs. Barley (roasted)
4.3% – 0.45 lbs. Chocolate
2.9% – 0.30 lbs. Crystal 120L
1.4% – 0.15 lbs. Blackprinz
1.4% – 0.15 lbs. Black Patent

HOPS
0.67 oz Nugget (whole, 13% AA @ 60 mins
0.75 oz Willamette (pellet, 5% aa) @ 25 mins
1.05 oz Willamette (pellet, 5% aa) @ 10 mins

YEAST
White Labs WLP001 California Ale (73-80% attenuation, 68-73°F)
White Labs WLP007 Dry English Ale (70-80% attenuation, 65-70°F)
Secondary: Fermentis Safale US-05 Dry American Ale (75-80% attenuation, 59-75°F)

MASH
60 min @ 155°F

ADDITIONS TO BOIL
1.5 oz Belgian bittersweet chocolate (15 mins)
1.0 oz unsweetened cocoa nibs (15 mins)
1.2 oz ground Sumatran coffee (flameout)
1.2 oz cold-brewed Kona coffee (secondary)

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NOTES

2/25/12 – Brew day! Found the recipe here after my brother told me his version of their recipe turned out quite well (he was right). Did the classic BIAB method on our electric stove. Started with 4.25 gallons of water, ended up with almost exactly 3 gallons.  Added the hops, chocolate, and Sumatran coffee as specified above. OG = 1.092. Fermented at 68-70°F.

3/16/12 – Racked to barrel. Soaked ground Kona coffee in 1 cup boiled, cooled water and leave overnight, covered in refrigerator. Strained out grounds and added cold coffee to secondary. Hydrometer read: 1.030. Problem solving: ordered US-05 (see above for rationale).

4/9/12 – Pitched US-05. Was refermenting within hours. Will re-check gravity in a week or so–I want this baby to age in the barrel for a few weeks to months (depending on oaky flavor).

4/14/12 – After almost a week of bubbling, I decided to take a hydro sample (and a little taster–see below). The beautifully talented US-05 got this sucker down to 1.022 in just 5 days. And a few days later, it was bubbling again!

4/15/12 – I let the hydro sample chill in the fridge for a night, letting all the yeastie bits (and chocolate, nibs, coffee, etc…man, this is a complex beer!) settle out. This was one of the best non-carbed beers I’ve ever had. It was a sweet stout, with a lovely bitter coffee aroma and taste to it. Man, I’m excited to get this thing going. Luckily, it hasn’t gotten very oaky yet. I think I’ll just try to keep my hydrometer out of the cookie jar and maybe take samples every two weeks (or more) from here on out. As soon as the oak flavor is where I want it, I’ll bottle this bad boy up!